Intro

• I was introduced to this process 9.5 years ago
  • ⭐ This is my number one tool for heavy-hitter issues in my life
    • 💓 Dating
    • ❤️‍🩹 Breakups
    • 👯 Friendships
    • 👪 Family
    • 💕 My relationship with myself
• This process comes from the 12 step book Alcoholics Anonymous
  • The AA book refers to its’ program as a design for living
  • The 12 step process has been borrowed by other programs to treat a myriad of personal difficulties
    • Including, not limited to:
      • Narcotics
      • Nicotine
      • Those affected by other people’s alcoholism
      • Food related issues (too much, not enough)
      • Gambling
      • Sex
      • Love
      • Codependency
      • Underearning
      • Unmanageable debt
  • You don’t need to have an issue with alcohol (or any other addiction) to benefit from this process
    • If such a simple tool can be adapted to be used so widely, it seems just about anyone could benefit from this process
• I cannot speak for any 12 step program, including AA.
• I can only share with you my experience using this tool
  • Like sharing my experience with reading Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat
    • I’m not Dr. Seuss 🖊️
    • I’m not the cat 🐱
    • I’m not the hat 🎩
  • I’m just Holden :)

Resentments

What is a resentment?

• “I feel angry at….”
• “I feel guilty for…”
• “I’m sad about….”
• “I’m anxious because I….”

How can I tell if I have a resentment?

• Obvious: I’m angry
• Am I thinking about it throughout the day?
• Am I arguing with them in my head?
• Do I know that I am right?
  • “I would never…” (self-righteousness)
• Am I afraid?